Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the day after is always just damage control
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
