I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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