just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
