Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
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but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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