Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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