I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize