If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
