8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize