There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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