yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
