Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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