We're like a lot better than the average bears
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
