You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
