I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
