marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
