Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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