I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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