every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
