5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
