And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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