i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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