I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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