Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
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I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dicks are not precious.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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