Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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