Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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