whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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