He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize