I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
