Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
