Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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