I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
