I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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