hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
how can u be prego again
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
