everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
no. you can't hotbox the world.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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