She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i think i just lost a toe
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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