I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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