I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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