why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
