I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
