just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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