Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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