i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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