we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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