oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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