when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize