brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
