I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
