Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
