The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
