dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize