I am in a vortex of obligation.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
