No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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