Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
