you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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