Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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