I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
