I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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