You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
