i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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