He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
