I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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