Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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